The Taxi Bulletin
I have been off news in recent days, I watch but there’s a certain part of my brain that sort of refuses to pay attention. But luckily my current mode of transport brings me news in the most unexpected ways. This is news as heard from a taxi driver, two old women in the first front row. A die hard Orlando Pirates Soccer Club fan in the front (riding shot gun)who is later replaced by another die hard Alex man. Destination: Johannesburg Bree Taxi Rank From: Kliptown Soweto. Atmosphere: late afternoon Metro FM is on the dial and Eddie Zondie is playing his Sunday Ballads from Whitney Houston to Mariah Carey softly in the background . Sad Love songs in Short. Taxi conversations like this one are rare, so I put together a little News Bulletin for you. Enjoy 🙂
Good Afternoon, In the headlines…
Orlando Pirate fans stoic despite defeat
The country’s youth is doing amazing things!
Warning; If you’re afraid of rats, don’t live in Alex
And finally President Jacob Zuma is a stubborn man
Good Afternoon – your top TAXI story this hour……
An unknown taxi driver says Orlando Pirate fans are brave, because they continue to wear their team jerseys and colours despite their loss against Kaizer chiefs at the weekend. A man sitting shot gun at the front of the taxi almost jumped out of the car following this statement screaming, “if you are a true fan, you will continue to wear your colours, whether you lose or win, a true fan dies with his team.” He said causing the two old women sitting behind him to roar with laughter, they consoled the young man in the front seat saying pirates did put up a good fight in one of the most watched games this season. The taxi driver told him to make a bet next time if he is so loyal to his team, put his money where his mouth is. The pirate man replied that he has mouths to feed, and that look now he would have lost money to buy food for his children had he place a bet for Pirates. He asked to be dropped off at a nearby a tree. The taxi driver obliged.
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A working man from Alex has announced that a boy from his neighbourhood, his next door neighbor in fact has killed his mother and was later arrested for his crime. He told the sad news to two old women sitting at the first front row of the taxi, after he asked one of the women why she was already eating lunch en route to work in Johannesburg, “what will you eat later” he asked. “I will drink tea” the woman replied and they all agreed that they should spoil themselves with KFC (chicken) once in a while just as a treat, as children nowa days often take the money to buy a new popular drug called Nyaope. The women were shocked at the mans’ horrific story. The taxi driver commented that the Children of today are doing AMAZING things. Wonders, he keeps saying. The man from Alex encouraged by the growing interest in his story added more details saying “ apparently he suffocated his mother, who is a known alcoholic and a person living with 3k-three kicks or S3 a new synonym for HIV/AIDS. After he discovered that she was no longer breathing he tried to resuscitate her with water, but she was already gone, he continued. Police found him crying next to his mother’s body. Hmmm hmmm the women shook their heads in Unison.
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Don’t even dare to live in Alexandra Township north of Johannesburg if you’re scared of rats warned an unknown driver of a taxi from Kliptown to Johannesburg this Sunday afternoon. The taxi driver claims that rats in Alexandra Township North of Johannesburg are like people they just look at you. The taxi driver’s comments caused the two elder women sitting behind him to laugh heartily like old friends at the taxi driver’ description of the rat infested township. A man from Alex sitting next to the taxi driver disagreed, saying Alex, arguably the oldest township in Johannesburg, is truly the place to be. He said despite the rats – once you live there you won’t want to leave. Swerving his car to the left the taxi driver told his passenger that in Alex – rats are not scared of people they just look at you and move on with their business bringing the elder women to tears with more laughter, but the man from Alex kept saying, Alex is the original township, the women must come there, at least they can have a piece of land. The taxi driver replied that it’s true, we all come from Alex, but if you’re scared of rats don’t live in Alex.
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And finally……Two elderly female passengers travelling from Kliptown to Johannesburg say President Jacob Zuma is a stubborn man. “He has umuti (medicine/ behavior)of Mugabe so what are we going to do”? They recently asked on their way to work. They were referring to a possibility that South African President Jacob Zuma may refuse to step down as president of the country when the time comes and like Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe continue to contest elections after almost four decades in power. Zimbabweans will go to the polls this week. However the man from Alex refuted their claims, saying that though he agreed that the President is a stubborn man, he refused to believe that South Africa would allow him to stay in power beyond a third term. If he is not doing the right thing, he added, he will be voted out. The elderly women were not convinced.
That’s all the news we have from the Taxi. Thank you for reading.
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Jedi Ramalapa 