This week’s truism from Paolo Coelho’s blog caught me off guard. All week I have tried to reason with it, to find exceptions to the “rule.” However, as I stand here alone against the wall. I have to admit, it is true that…
“… no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it’s place”
All my passions have dissipated, there is nothing left to take their place, except, me.
I have no stories to share this week because many of them are too elaborate, too desperate and perhaps even too painful to bear. So, in conclusion I would like to rely on the words of two authors who have have mirrored my feelings from desolation to learning about love. I chose them because their words have the ability to distill my feelings into a transparent sequence – where meaning will not be lost or obfuscated. First is an author who, through her words, held my hand during some of the more turbulent passion-filled moments in my life: especially as I walked alone at night, meandering underground through the subways of NYC. American poet, writer and activist Audre Lorde;
“You loved people and you came to depend on their being there. But people died or changed or went away and it hurt too much. The only way to avoid that pain was not to love anyone, and not to let anyone get too close or too important. The secret of not being hurt like this again, I decided, was never depending on anyone, never needing, never loving. ”
The second is bell hooks:
“Individuals who want to believe that there is no fulfillment in love, that true love does not exist, cling to these assumptions because this despair is actually easier to face than the reality that love is a real fact of life but is absent from their lives.
“A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.”
I hope you know how incredibly fortunate you are to be loved, wholeheartedly by someone who doesn’t need to.
Jedi Ramalapa 